How to tell if it’s a Monday: Did you just clean fresh turtle pee from one of your car’s floor mats in the parking lot before work, pinning your tie up high onto your shirt to keep from re-living reptile urine all day long? If you answered yes, then it’s safe to say it’s a …
Even as a raging heathen, I do love me some Christmas. My favorite holiday, hands down (and that’s even taking into account the Hadaka Matsuri guys-in-sumo-loincloths-competing-for-trinkets festival every February in Japan). I dig Christmas not just for the purty lights, that phenomenal Pogues/Kirsty McColl song and the excuse to put liquor in sweetened egg froth and …
Finally saw that Keaton Jones bullying video that celebs and athletes are falling all over themselves about. And they’re right to. That thing is a heartbreak. His racist, opportunist mom aside, this kid reflects genuine agony, and you want so much to march into his school and beat up the young losers who are messing …
So I’m a pretty angry guy, if you haven’t noticed. I got some issues. This country. This callousness. These cruel things. When I was younger, I had such a chip on my shoulder that I made at least one tall friend who shall Rayle-main nameless think I was gonna drag him into a brawl with …
So the vapid, venal clown in the phallic ties who’s been blindly entrusted with the fate of our country has finally given the fundamentalist (and, based on other recent events, apparently, pedophiliac) faction of his base the hard-on its been aching for for years, in its until-now wetless dreams of the Second Coming. I’m not …
Sometimes, you just feel the need to say something profound, whether it’s because some weighty and/or touching occasion seems to demand it, or because you’ve just been so prattlingly infantile lately that you’re clearly overdue to let loose with a pearl or two of exalted thought. So you think hard on it, really press your …
To view this personal family obituary as a downloadable PDF, click here. FRANK RABEY Jan. 10, 1932-Sept. 26, 2017 GREENVILLE, N.C. — He was both jokester and Depression-era pragmatist. A cut-up, a card. A contrarian of the very first order. He was a lover, above all, of family, including his pets, and of travel, classical music, the …
When I die, and everything I have seen thus far in life suggests this will happen, despite my best efforts to pretend that black-gowned bony fella with the scythe who keeps inching closer in my rear-view mirror is just a very persistent and poorly dressed itinerant wheat farmer with a moonlighting Amway gig, and everything …
So after so much of this, for so long, I find myself forced to ask: Is there something about me that simply invites a certain kind of chaos? I went out early tonight to a concert, 18th-century European chamber music on period instruments, at a local gem called The Music House, on 5th Street just …
In the end, this may be my favorite picture ever of my father, dancing here with my mom, my angel, my mother. It says everything you need to know. Everything all of us who knew him should remember. At 9:46 p.m. yesterday, Frank “no middle initial” Rabey, the final child of Slavic immigrants rubbed out …