In the game of golf, as in life, there are penalties. Without some repercussions built into the system, your bulbous neighbors Gareth and Becky Anne are soon enough dancing buck-wild nekkid in your shared driveway under the new strawberry moon, while your “president” is illegally deporting your fellow citizens to foreign countries where they yank …
I don’t know that I’ve ever done this before, copying a post from Facebook to here. But this really seemed to strike a chord with people. I tweaked it just a hair, because more room, and never give me more room! But, mostly, no. Oh, I did, I do, love me some Sly Stone. On …
This will surely piss off some of you. Fine. The time to be pissed off is now. You fucks. You lousy, defeatist fucks. Now that I’ve set the tone: This is an open letter to the Democratic Party, from one of your own. To be more exact, likely soon to be one of your former …
It takes a certain kind of stupid to view certain awful things as funny. Awful, stupid things, to be clear. So let me introduce myself to any of you who might not know me well, and who thus might not know where this is going. My name is Frank, and I am, y’know. I took …
Things that come in fours. The seasons. The number of legs on a chair, or wheels on a car. The cardinal directions, north, south, east, west. The suits in a standard deck of cards. The classical elements, earth, air, fire, water. The principal phases of the moon. Of course, there were also those four dudes …
I can never keep it straight, is the third time the charm, or does trouble come in threes? Anyway, this feature is back, and every bit as charming as the two times before. So you needn’t let the thought of it improving trouble you in any way. Some things, you see, just aren’t worth trying …
Avoidance! Diversions! Escapism! As a service to our occasional customers, we’ve brought back this possibly unpopular feature. If we cared more about you, you’d have real content once in a while, sure. So go pay somebody already – even lousy CNN now has a paywall for some of its content. But not us, not here, …
So, nothing to see here. I am badly broken up about it, sure. So many other people are as well. The sky feels weighted with sadness, with the horizon foretelling a storm of despotism and blunt stupidity, which is all just as wretched as hell, but … Look, squirrel! Avoidance. Diversions. Escapism. What say we …
Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri, in The Sopranos: “You know, Quasimodo predicted all this.”Tony Soprano: “Who did what?”Bobby: “All these problems, the Middle East, the end of the world.”Tony: “Nostradamus. Quasimodo’s the hunchback of Notre Dame.”Bobby: “Oh, right. Nostradamus.”Tony: “Nostradamus, and Notre Dame. It’s two different things completely.” Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. Two different things completely.Yet …
I feel I must share with you the appalling circumstance of this morning. Fairly early into it, that feet-to-floor, brushing of teeth, handful of pills, navigating of pre-dawn dogs near empty food bowls, the scratching of things in need of scratching, I came to the hard realization that there was, simply, no cake. And wouldn’t …