9 – love like a hot-glue gun

FrankenMixes: The Never, Ever Ask Series
(Hey, jeez, that hurts! So … could you maybe do it again?)

1. “The Encyclopedia Galactica” | The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (film)
2. Ooh La La | The Faces
     “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger. I wish that I knew what I know now when I was stronger.”
3. “Fancy meeting you here after all these drinks.” | Duck Soup/Groucho Marx as “Rufus T. Firefly”
4. Tournament of Hearts | The Weakerthans
     “Why can’t I ever stop where I wanna stay?”
5. “Sex without love is an empty experience.” | Love and Death/Woody Allen as “Boris”
6. Flathead | The Fratellis
     “Hers is a tonic and mine is a gin.”
7. “You’re a whore, admit it. Admit you’re a big whore. Go ahead.” | My Fellow Americans
8. “There’s no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure!” | The Rocky Horror Picture Show/Tim Curry as “Dr. Frank-N-Furter”
9. Wringing the Wheel | The Floating Men
     “I’m drunk on the wind in my mouth.”
10. “Going out with girls is fun.” | As Boys Grow, educational film, 1957
11. Iron Ore Betty | John Prine
       “We always speak the same language.”
12. “Bring me the big knife, I’m gonna cut my throat.” | Moonstruck/Nicolas Cage
13. Goodbye, Killer | Pernice Brothers
        “You were shootin’ for the gutter, and your aim was very good.”
14. “You use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.” | Blazing Saddles/Slim Pickens as “Taggart”
15. Conversation 16 | The National
       “You’re the only thing I ever want anymore.”
        “I’ll tell you miserable things after you are asleep.”
16. “Well, I probably shouldn’t show you this, but I’m totally going to.” | Archer/”Dr. Krieger”
17. Me in Honey | R.E.M. with Kate Pearson
       “What about me?
18. “No time for the old in-and-out, love, I’m just here to read the meter.” | A Clockwork Orange
19. Farm Girl | The Ike Reilly Assassination
        “I need a farm girl that knows how I feel about death, dirt, loss, sex, live birth and three meals.”
20. “Do you love him, Loretta?” | Moonstruck/Olympia Dukakis
21. Peg O’ My Heart | Dropkick Murphys with Bruce Springsteen
        “Since I heard your liltin’ laughter it’s your Irish heart I’m after.”
22. “You wanna dance?” | As Good as It Gets/Helen Hunt as “Carol Connelly” and Jack Nicholson as “Melvin Udall”
23. The Boxer | Carbon Leaf
        “To the ring, to the right …”
24. “How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?” | TV commercial
25. The Hula Hula Boys | Warren Zevon
        “The fat one from the swimming pool, they were swaying, arm in arm.”
26. “We’re looking for the chick with big boobs.” | Beavis & Butthead
27. Last Call for Romeos | The Floating Men
        “What’s it gonna take to send you home with your own new Romeo tonight?”
28. “You know how to whistle, don’tcha, Steve?” | To Have and Have Not/Lauren Bacall as “Slim”
29. Karen | The National
       “I’m really trying to shine here.”
        “It’s a common fetish for a doting man to ballerina on the coffee table, cock in hand.”
30. “Hey, where the white women at?” | Blazing Saddles/Cleavon Little as “Sheriff Bart”
31. Condi, Condi | Steve Earle
       “Oh, Condoleezza, won’t you come out tonight?”
32. “What? Oh, for … how was that racist?” | Archer/”Archer,” voiced H. Jon Benjamin
33. Cinnamon | The Long Winters
       “I clung to the stretcher. I drew them a heart.”
34. “How am I ever gonna get a girl? I drive around in a garbage truck.” | Hellboy/Ron Perlman in the title role
35. Spy in the House of Love | Was (Not Was)
        “I used a tiny camera; I thought I’d Japanese her.”
36. “Fan the flame of desire with the bellows of indifference!” | Go West/Groucho Marx as “S. Quentin Quale”
37. You Can Make Him Like You | The Hold Steady
        “You can wear his old sweatshirt. You can cover yourself like a bruise.”
38. “Could you spare a coin for a moral cripple?” | Montresor Herringbone/Peter Lorre in the title role
39. Don’t I Look Like the Kind of Guy | Del Amitri
       “We gave away our innocence when we were 15, and since then, I’ve been trying to get mine back.”
40. “The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real.” | Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas/Johnny Depp as “Raoul Duke”
41. Mathilde | Scott Walker (song by Jacques Brel)
       “Mama, can you hear me yell? Your baby boy’s gone back to hell.”
42. “She drove me to drink; that’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.” | Never Give a Sucker an Even Break/W.C. Fields
43. 4th Time Around | Bob Dylan
       “You better spit out your gum.”
44. “Wouldn’t this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If needy were a turn-on?” | Broadcast News/Albert Brooks as “Aaron Altman”
45. “I find you very attractive, and a little bit sad.” | An American Werewolf in London
46. Rikki Don’t Lose That Number | Steely Dan
       “We could stay inside and play games, I don’t know …”
47. “I begged you to get some therapy.” | Tootsie/Sydney Pollack as “George Fields”

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