31 – where it ends up

FrankenMixes: The Never, Ever Ask Series
(Finally, real finality! Maybe …)

1. “Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” | The Princess Bride/Mandy Patinkin as “Inigo Montoya”
2. “Doh!,” 32 times | The Simpsons, audio collage
3. Nothing Can Be Done | Joni Mitchell, featuring David Baerwald
      “Oh, I am not old, I’m told. But I am not young.”
4. “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to shoot you.” “Righto, sir.” | Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
5. “Well, that didn’t pan out.” | True Grit/Jeff Bridges as “Rooster Cogburn”
6. Trouble Waiting to Happen | Warren Zevon
     “I turned on the news to the Third World War. Opened up the paper to World War IV. Just when I thought it was safe to be bored …”
7. “Oh, shut up you mouth!” | The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show/“Boris Badenov,” voiced by Paul Frees
8. Grinnin’ in Your Face | Son House
       “They’ll talk about you still.”
9. “It was terrible, it was just terrible! I’ll never get over it as long as I live!” | The Ghost and Mrs. Chicken/Don Knotts
10. “You’re too much trouble. Get some therapy.” | Tootsie/George Fields as “Sydney Pollack”
11. Too Late Mr. Squiggly | Jolene
       “Never mind my blue stardust. I’ve been dying for 25 years.”
12. “So, this all seems … horrible” | The Avengers/Mark Ruffalo as “Bruce Banner”
13. Dead Now | Frightened Rabbit
       “This is not how health should feel.”
        “We’ll scream hell toward heaven’s door, and I’ll piss on your front porch.”
14. “Getting to the land of the dead isn’t the problem. It’s gettin’ back!” | POTC: At World’s End/Geoffrey Rush as “Hector Barbossa”
15. The Great Exhale | Great Lake Swimmers
       “The world stops spinning when you stop spinning.”
16. “Bring out your dead!” | Monty Python and the Holy Grail
17. “I’m not dead!” | Monty Python and the Holy Grail
18. “Alive! It’s alive!” | Young Frankenstein/Gene Wilder as “Dr. Frederick Frankenstein”
19. I’m Alive | Jackson Browne
       “Those dreams are dead, but I’m alive.”
20. “I can give you the power to create again.” | Phantom of the Paradise/Paul Williams as “Swan”
21. The Fixer | Pearl Jam
        “When somethings lost, I wanna fight to get it back again!”
22. “I’m just trying to get a rise out of you, that’s all, for shits and giggles!” | Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery/Mike Myers in the title role
23. Keep It Up | The Boomtown Rats
       “Snap me in your breach, I wanna be your bullet.” 
24. “My dream is to one day know what my dream is.” | Queer as Folk
25. Little Boy Don’t Lose Your Balls | Paul Kelly & The Stormwater Boys
       “You can’t buy your balls back like you buy a pair of pants. Once they’re gone, you’ve really got fuck all.”
26. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit weird?” “They never really stop.”| Doctor Who, including Matt Smith as “The Doctor”
27. Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key | Billy Bragg & Wilco (lyrics by Woody Guthrie)
       “She said, ‘It’s hard for me to see how one little boy got so ugly.’ Yes, my little girlie, that might be, but ain’t nobody that can sing like me.”
28. “By God, sir, you are a character, that you are! There’s never any telling what you’ll say or do next!” | The Maltese Falcon/Sydney Greenstreet as “Kasper Gutman”
29. East of the Sunrise | The Floating Men
       “No thank you, ma’am, I’ve got some awful big living to cram into such a small life.”
       “Look for my taillights!”
30. “Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things.” | Torchwood
31. Medicine Hat | Son Volt
       “There will be droughts and days inundated …”
32. “You look like a man who could use more coffee.” | Star Trek: Voyager/”Neelix”
33. “Coffee kind of makes me nervous, um-hum.” | Sling Blade/Billy Bob Thornton as “Karl Childers”
34. “More coffee, java boy!” | Queer as Folk
35. Tea for the Tillerman | Cat Stevens
       “Oh, Lord, how they play and play, for that happy day, that happy day.”
36. “This quest, this need to solve life’s mysteries, in the end, what does it matter when the human heart can only find meaning in the smallest of moments?” | Heroes/”Mohinder Suresh
37. Prelude | Pete Townshend
       “Oh why can’t I see a change, just one sign?”
38. “The time to make up your mind about people … is never.” | The Philadelphia Story/Katherine Hepburn as “Tracy Lord”
39. We Are Each Others’ Angels | Chuck Brodsky
       “If you see an angel fallen, won’t you stop and help him up?”
       “We keep each other going; we show each other signs.”
40. “In the last two hours, I’ve lost my job, my apartment, my car and my girlfriend.” “You still have your health.” | Stripes/Harold Ramis as “Russell Ziskey” and Bill Murray as “John Winger”
41. Don’t Let Us Get Sick | Warren Zevon
       “Don’t let us get stupid, all right? Just make us be brave. And make us play nice. And let us be together tonight.”
42. “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you … stranger!” | The Dark Knight/Heath Ledger as “The Joker”
43. Last Days of Tecumseh | Grant Lee Buffalo
        “He couldn’t believe all that he knew would fade.”
44. “Doh! Doh! Doh! I mean, whoo-hoo!” | The Simpsons/“Homer,” voiced by Dan Castellaneta
45. Mailman | Peter Mulvey
       “I have heard this one before, and it’s beautiful.”
46. “Looking ahead/looking behind” | The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, including Ian McKellen as “Gandalf”
47. Child of the Wind | Bruce Cockburn
       “There’s roads and there’s roads, and they call, can’t you hear it? Roads of the Earth, roads of the spirit. The best roads of all are the ones that aren’t certain. One of those is where you’ll find me till they drop the big curtain.”
48. “Push the button, Frank!” | Mystery Science 3000
49. “Shut the fuck up, fat man, this ain’t none of your goddamn business.” | Pulp Fiction/Samuel L. Jackson as “Jules”
50. Bad as Me | Tom Waits
       “No good you say? Well, that’s good enough for me!”
51. “I guess this is it, old pal!” “It sure is! What?” “The end!” “Oh!” | The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show
52. “Doh!” | “Homer Simpson” as Intel chime

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