25 – misclosure

FrankenMixes: The Never, Ever Ask Series
(One person’s ending is another’s … oh, shit, here we go again!)

1. “Doh! It just gets worse and worse!” | The Simpsons/”Homer,” voiced by Dan Castellaneta
2. Late March, Death March | Frightened Rabbit
     “I went too far.”
3. “Jesus fucking Christ!” | George Carlin
4. “Blasphemy will only make it worse!” | Taste the Blood of Dracula
5. God Laughs | Willie Nile
     “And why? Because he’s God.”
6. “If there is a God, he did not mean this to be so.” | The Ten Commandments/Charlton Heston as “Moses” (nifty movie trivia: He was packing a Walther P38 9 mm semiautomatic the whole time. In case God, or Cecile B. DeMille, said something he didn’t like.)
7. Little Stars | Justin Currie
     “If you could all shut up; take a peek out of your hairstyles. God is gonna speak …”
8. “Do you know how I live such a happy life?” | Men in Black/Tommy Lee Jones as “Agent K” and WIll Smith as “Agent J”
9. Babel | Mumford & Sons
     “So come down from your mountain and stand where we’ve been. You know our breath is weak and our body thin.”
10. “Death, fire, loss …” | Mystery Science 3000
11. “I hate this place! Why am I here?” | The Simpsons/“Homer,” voiced by Dan Castellaneta
12. Just Trying to Be | Jethro Tull
       “They can’t see that we’re just trying to be, and not what we seem.”
13. “1, 2, 5!” | Monty Python and the Holy Grail
14. “Welcome to the humiliating world of professional writing.” | The Simpsons/”Homer,” voiced by Dan Castellaneta
15. Bye Bye Pride | The Go-Betweens
       “Take your shoes and go outside. stride over stride. Walk to that tide, because the door is open wide.”
16. “It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.” | The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (TV)
17. “I am invincible! Invincible!” | The Simpsons/“Homer,” voiced by Dan Castellaneta
18. The Woodpile | Frightened Rabbit
        “Bereft of all social charms, struck dumb by the hand of fear, I fall into the corner’s arms, the same way that I’ve done for years.”
19. “It ain’t fittin’. It just ain’t fittin’. It ain’t fittin’.” | Gone With the Wind/Hattie McDaniel as “Mammy”
20. Wild Man From Borneo | James McMurtry (song by Kinky Friedman)
        “A hairy, scary, legendary screaming souvenir. Don’t you come to close to me; don’tcha come too near.”
21. “The true self” | Altered States/William Hurt
22. “Do you mean that he’ll eventually become 100 percent gorilla?” | Unknown
23. Gorilla, You’re a Desperado | Warren Zevon
       “I wish the ape a lot of success. I’m sorry my apartment’s a mess. Most of all, I’m sorry that I made you blue. I’m bettin’ the gorilla will, too.”
24. “You know the consequences of a body moving with unchecked velocity in free space?” “Uh, we’re our own grandparents?” | Mystery Science 3000
25. “No, no, that ain’t it.” | Unknown
26. “Perhaps you need a drink.” | Bell Book and Candle
27. Flying Over Water | Jason Isbell
       “Where’s that liquor cart? Maybe we shouldn’t start …”
28. “Do you care?” “No.” | Unknown
29. “Perhaps you need a drink?” | Bell Book and Candle
30. Whiskey Remorse | Del Amitri
        “In the end, in misery, he tells the joke himself.”
31. “Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?” “What kind of beer?” | The Simpsons
32. Hot Soft Light | The Hold Steady
       “It started recreational. It ended kinda medical.”
33. “Well, if it won’t work, it won’t work.” | We Play and Share Together
34. “Aw, it did’t work!” | The Simpsons/“Homer,” voiced by Dan Castellaneta
35. Evidence | Del Amitri
       “Like wound-down batteries, hearts stop sometimes.”
36. Stop and Smell the Roses Dying, snippet | Frankers
       “You like red roses; I sent yellow ones instead.”
37. Prettier Girls | James Maddock
        “You like to think you look cool. But you don’t.”
        “There’s prettier girls in the world, but none of them as pretty as you.”
        “We’ve all got our faults and our weaknesses, too. You’ve got more than most. I’ve got more than you.”
38. “Nothing can hurt us now. What we have can’t be destroyed. That’s our victory. Our victory over the dark.” | Dark Victory/Bette Davis as “Judith Traherne”
39. “You always did need an audience, you sap!” | Wizards
40. Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby | Counting Crows
       “If you’ve never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame.”
41. “Leavings,” snippet | Frankers
       “Columbus fell off.”
42. Hey Lover | Dawes
       “I wanna raise with you, and watch our younglings hatch. Fucking make the first letters of their first names match.”
43. “The sweet spot …” | Bull Durham/Kevin Costner as “Crash Davis”
44. “Oh! Oh! That’s so disgusting!” | Crimes and Misdemeanors/Woody Allen as “Cliff Stern”
45. Put It In Your Heart | Bruce Cockburn
       “Terrible deeds done in the name of tunnel vision and fear of change …”
46. “Do you expect us to believe all this childish rubbish, sir? Do you take us for fools?” | Frankenstein Created Woman
47. For Everyman | Jackson Browne
       “Make it on your own, if you think you can.”
“I’m not trying to tell you that I’ve seen the plan; turn and walk away if you think I am. But don’t think too badly of one who’s left holding sand. He’s just another dreamer …”

48. “You just gotta keep liivin’, man. L-I-V-I-N.” | Dazed and Confused/Matthew McConaughey as “David Wooderson”
49. Odds Are | Barenaked Ladies
       “Sure, things go wrong, but I’ll take my chances. Odds are long, so why not play?”
50. “Y’know, it could be worse.” | Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid/Paul Newman as Butch Cassidy

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