23 – that holy ride

FrankenMixes: The Never, Ever Ask Series
(Expect turbulence.)

 1. “If I were the man I was five years ago, I’d take a flamethrower to this place!” | Scent of a Woman/Al Pacino as “Lt. Col. Frank Slade”
2. A Tall Stand of Pines | The Floating Men
     “If you see the ghost of my daredevil youth go racing by, flag him down and let him know that I’ll be running a few days behind …”
3. “I’m surprised we weren’t all killed.” | Mystery Science 3000
4. Lawyers, Guns and Money | Warren Zevon
     “Dad, get me out of this!”
5. “Isn’t that what makes a man?” “Sure, that and a pair of testicles.”| The Big Lebowski, including Jeff Bridges as “The Dude”
6. Real Men | Joe Jackson
     “Kill all the blacks; kill all the reds. But if there’s war between the sexes, then there’ll be no people left.”
7. “I have sinned against you.” | Jimmy Swaggert
8. “Oh, my God!” | Burn After Reading/Brad Pitt
9. Massive Night | The Hold Steady
      “I had my mouth on her nose when the chaperon said that we were dancing too close.”
10. “Ice, watch out …” | You Don’t Know Jack
11. Skating Away (On the Thin Ice of a New Day) | Jethro Tull
       “Do you ever get the feeling that the story’s too damn real and in the present tense? Or that everybody’s on the stage, and it seems like you’re the only person sitting in the audience?”
12. “We’re Jedi, Bob. We don’t fight with guns; we fight with our minds.” | The Men Who Stare at Goats/George Clooney as “Lyn Cassady”
13. The Trouble With Poets | Peter Mulvey
        ” … is they talk too much.”
14. “I saw that going differently in my mind.” | Hitch/Will Smith
15. Rachel’s Song | James McMurtry
       “Dancing up against the window; it’s like they’re peeking through the glass. And they hover for a moment, and then they fall on past …”
16. “Where ya headed?” “Same place you are, Jeremiah; hell, in the end.” | Jeremiah Johnson
17. “You be careful out among them English.” | Witness
18. Somewhere Down the Crazy River | Robbie Robertson
       “I think I’m gonna go down to Madam X, and let her read my mind.”
19. “There’s  plenty going on right now in the Twilight Zone that we don’t know anything about, and I think we oughta stay clear.” | The Andy Griffith Show/Don Knotts as “Barney Fife”
20. “Good heavens, I was right: The man is crazy.” | After the Thin Man
21. Crossing the Transippi | Sam Bush, with John Cowan
       (Fiddle. Yodel. Fiddle. Yodel. Etc.)
22. “An enlightenened man would offer a humble traveler shelter for the night, and share quiet conversation over a bowl of … Cocoa Puffs.” | Bulletproof Monk/Chow Yun-Fat
23. “Good luck with that enlightenment stuff!” | Bulletproof Monk
24. Ourselves to Know | Warren Zevon
       “Be loyal to the ones you leave with, even if you fail.”
25. “The subject was booked under Section 601: In danger of leading an idle, dissolute or immoral life.” | Dragnet (TV)/Jack Webb as “Joe Friday”
26. “What’s a systems analyst do?” “I analyze systems.” | Dragnet (TV), including Jack Webb as “Joe Friday”
27. It Ain’t Easy Being Me | Chris Knight
       “Was I born this way? Am I a self-made fool?”
       “I’ve had to work to be the jerk I’ve come to be.”
28. “I know there’s no such person as Dracula. You know there’s no such person as Dracula. But does Dracula know it?” | Abbot & Costello Meet Frankenstein/Bud Abbott as “Chick Young”
29. “I am Dracula; I bid you welcome.” | Dracula/Bela Lugosi in the title role
30. For My Next Trick I’ll Need A Volunteer | Warren Zevon
       “I can saw a woman in two, but you won’t wanna look in the box when I’m through.”
31. “Novelty act” | The Ed Sullivan Show/Ed Sullivan
32. Dressed Up Like Nebraska | Josh Roush
       “It’s the being in the dark that makes me so paranoid …”
33. “You’re not very tall, are you?” “Well, I try to be.” | The Big Sleep, including Bogie as “Philip Marlowe”
34.The Loading | Tom Cochrane & Red Rider
       “Suit up up; I’m ready to go!”
35. “The world used to be a bigger place.” “The world’s still the same; there’s just less in it.” | POTC: At World’s End/Geoffrey Rush as “Hector Barbossa” and Johnny Depp as “Captain Jack Sparrow”
36. No More Buffalo | James McMurtry
       “But man, they were here. They were here, I swear!”
37. “Welcome to the end of the world.” | Doctor Who/Christopher Eccleston as “The Doctor”
38. “Hated it!” | In Living Color
39. After the Gold Rush | Neil Young
       “Look at Mother Nature on the run …”
40. “Don’t be stupid, even in the short term.” | The Sopranos/James Gandolfini as “Tony Soprano”
41. “I understand what you’re saying, and your comments are valuable, but I’m going to ignore your advice.” | The Fantastic Mr. Fox/George Clooney, voicing the title role
42. Over the Wateree | The Floating Men
       “Why the hell would I want any money, with all these acres of anger to farm?”
        “When the Martian marauders come marching, they’ll march with our manhood stuck to their shoes.”
43. “No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” | Dead Poets Society/Robin Williams as “John Keating”
44. Hallelujah | John Cale
       “All I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.”
45. “Hope is a good thing. maybe the best of things.” | The Shawshank Redemption/Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne
46. High Hopes | Bruce Springsteen, with Tom Morello (song by Timothy Scott McConnell, aka Ledfoot)
       “Give me love. Give me peace. Don’t you know these days you pay for everything?”

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